Critical Mick

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The Godfather of Kathmandu
by John Burdett
Bantam Press, 2010

All Along the Highest Watchtower

John Burdett's exciting, exotic crime fic is a rarity: quality novels written in the second person. The accounts of Thai police Detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep are written to an unnamed "farang," revealing to "you" the intricacies of crime and culture in Bangkok. The identity of the person to whom the novels are written has remained a mystery- until now.

In the most unruly review ever (and a criticalmick.com exclusive!), Sonchai's elusive correspondent responds.....

Sonchai Jitpleecheep! Absolutely terrific to receive another mail from ye, squire. This is, what, the fourth parcel? So good to receive a physical written document, here in 2010, rather than an email. You are totally Old School. Or perhaps longhand is still the norm in a developing nation like Thailand? Anyhoo, I am raising a Singha to you and your family, and to all your fellow crooked Thai coppers, here in Dublin tonight. Look, mate, one thing straight up: I know that you called me "farang" all that mad night that we pub crawled our way up and down Soi Cowboy, giving it loads. That was ages ago and we've done millions in the "flower business" since then. The stage of cute nicknames is past, so I don't want to read another 300 pages of "If ever you want to meet a girl when the bars are closed, farang, you know where to go, thanks to Jitpleechep Personal Tours" and "I fear there is little in your culture, farang, to provide guidance on this conundrum." In your next letter, just address your descriptions of what reality is like in Bangkok and Buddhism to me by name. You can call me Dylan (like me Ma), Daffo (like my mates), or even what the Sunday World splashes on their cover when they want to shift a load of scary copy: Gangland's Twisted Teen Genius Daffodil Magill. That's assuming, of course, you've survived to write again. The contents of your recent parcel, about the Godfather and Kathmandu and all and everything- truly shocking: Sonchai, mate, you've got to mind yourself. If you keep making enemies of crooked Royal Thai Army generals, you're going to find a nice cozy home in the mud on the bottom of a canal. That General Zinna is arrogant enough to gang-rape policemen like yous! That HiSo hottie you wrote about, Doctor Mimi Moi- she's even more dangerous. I don't care if you once saw her in a tee shirt and nothing else, find another bird to practice that Tantric yoga with. I put out a couple of feelers on your behalf, squire, and that black widow's trying to do more than get back her revoked pharmacist license. And would you recollect: all this shite started with your investigation of a Hollywood director who had his nut sliced open and a meal made of his grey matter. If me buds here in Dublin realized Bangkok was so lethal, we never would have jumped on the jumbo and rung that Golden Triangle. And all that's before you even booked Royal Nepal Airlines. That boss of your, Colonel Vikorn, has some bottle: he watches The Godfather while downing a barrel of whiskey, imagines you are his Tom Hagen, and orders you north to Kathmandu to make arrangements to corner the flower market. And what a strange chappy standing at the big poppy tap, ready to throw on the supply! That Doctor Norbu Tietsin you described- amateur gangster, or a Tibetan patriot? He's got more magic than Harry Potter either way. He is a monastic dropout, like your good self, squire. And, like you, trying to bend mad dangerous evil into the service of a virtuous cause. Maybe that's why his blade-wheel brand of Apocalyptic Buddhism really did your head in. I'll be amazed if you don't go completely psychotic from the stress, Sonchai. Spark yourself up a spliff and try to chill. I am so sorry to hear about Pichai. Mad painful. I'm no good at discussing family matters, so I'll just shut me gob.

Reading Guide for The Godfather of Kathmandu map of Bangkok      map of Kathmandu "The poorest country on earth is also the most vertical." (pg. 29) Is Nepal the poorest country on earth-? No, but it's near the bottom of anyone's list. The most vertical, (and among the most beautiful) it probably is. Some useful terms, most according to Wikipedia (which is never wrong)... Cheongsam: the traditional dress worn by Chinese women. Dakini: a celestial woman made of pure enlightened energy. An angel who may have the power to entrap men with just a look. Dharma: the body of teachings expounded by the Buddha. Gautama: Siddhartha, the Buddha. Farang. The Thai equivalent of gringo. Katoey: Ladyboys. Thai Crying Game. HiSo: High Society, in Thailand. Wealthy and established. Isaan: Poor region in North-eastern Thailand where the men are skinny, the women always frown, and the kids are like miniature tanks with rubber bodies. Becomes many visitors' favorite part of the country. Jao paw: Thai for Godfather, in the Mario Puzo sense. Lama: Tibetan monk and spiritual guide with extensive knowledge of Buddhist Dharma (not Jenna Dharma) Soi: In Thailand, a side street of a major street. See Soi Cowboy. Stupa, also known as chedi in Thai: a Buddhist religious monument. Thanka: a Tibetan silk painting. Craftsmen in Nepal make and sell these. Wai: funky bow that Thai do in greeting, apologizing or thanking. Vajrayana Buddhism: AKA Tantra, AKA Apocalyptic Buddhism. The Jaegermeister at Buddha's bar. This practice will blow your head off, and that's even before Nepalese ladies- possibly dakini- share the Tantric sex. Yaa Baa: Thai for meth. Yogin: Yoga master.

Your ringtone is genius, mate: "There must be some way out of here." That's so you! I set that as my tone in your honor, squire. But then I heard Padparadscha by Kong Rao- don't know if they've made it to Thailand yet. Brilliant stuff. It's the internet age, I'm sure they are probably everywhere. Look into it!

I've really taken a mad interest in the Himalayan nations since reading this Godfather of Kathmandu parcel. It's like a whole vacation there, mate. You're writing's given me the best trip to Nepal since those mad poems by Tiffany in sixth-year composition class. (Beautiful mountains, made for heavenly meditation….)

Anyhoo, after reading your descriptions and history and all and everything, Free Tibet has become more than a slogan useful for getting idealistic college birds into the scratcher. I'd never before encountered any details to the history or credence to the cause, just a bunch of Hollywood actors saying what a sound fella the Dalai Lama is. Your writing about how Buddhism came to those high, dry plains, about Clive of India and Colonel Younghusband conquering away like a couple of Westside gangland caesars, about the Chinese invasion and Chamdo and cattle prods…. Fascinating stuff, squire. Great notions to be secretly thinking about when the rest of me gang is waffling on about Budweiser Select and Lady Gaga as if any of that mainstream industry shite had any heart.

Through all its twists and turns, I found your writing thoroughly sizzling. It should be read by everyone with a complete, intact brain. Have you ever thought about getting it published, like?

I'm glad as well, Sonchai, that despite all bashing about by Generals and Colonels and Godfathers and Lamas, you've kept your sense of humor. I was laughing all the while.

Write again soon, squire, I always look forward to these parcels and the forty million flowers you use as safe packing.

Om mani padme hum
Diddilly eidelly diddily um

Daffo Dyl

and life is grand! And I say this at the risk of falling from favor with those of you who have appointed yourselves to except me to say something darker.

Critical Mick says: John Burdett's new Sonchai Jitpleecheep novel (which, yes, has been published and is available now) can also be thoroughly enjoyed by readers who are neither teen geniuses nor drug ganglords. Rich in cultural and historical detail, and in horrifically fascinating crimes, The Godfather of Kathmandu is an unforgettable trip East.

Zombentino, baby!

Read Critical Mick's March 2010 interview with John Burdett for insights into how this novel was written.

Yo! This review and all content on the DFA Guide site are copyright 2010 Mick Halpin. All links to other sites and documents are copyright to whatever source wrote something cool enough for Mick to give it a referral. Try to claim them as your own work and bad karma will catch up with you, baby. Believe it.

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This Page Was Last Updated On 28 February, 2010.