Past Diatribes

"No way."

"Howzi bout 10 cent? Anyting? I’m takin’ da bus, rilly----!!"

But he was cracking a smile. There was this one messer of a chick that I knew once who would stand with her cup out, eyeing passersby. She didn’t want people’s money--- she was just curious to see how much they would give.

Sometimes I’ll shell out the odd buck, like this one time this drunken nutter sold me a joke. The fool pocketed it and raved off into a crowd around the door to the Maynooth bus, hopefully making some of them laugh, too. Maybe there’s a manual, PANHANDLE TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

If there’s not, there should be. A website at least.

Hmm...

Well, I’m here to announce that DFA Guide now has a spin off, for real, but don’t worry. It’s not about how to scab offa folks. It’s about an Irishman’s impressions of the good ol’ U S of A. Mi amigo bueno Sean O’Loughlin and his good lady wife have emigrated their selves and their demon dog deep into the heart of Texas. What is it like? How is Sean-o getting on? Click and see.

Lots of traveling going on, lately. DFAs and other folks from around the world are arriving in Dublin. The Long Distance Award has to go to mi amigo nuevo Adrian, who traveled all the way from Chile to drag our sorry asses out to Donegal.

I had never been to Donegal before, all the way up there on the Northwest coast. It’s about four hours’ drive from Dublin, and you have to pass through Northern Ireland to get there. Up in Donegal they’ve got more than 2000 miles of dramatic coastline and the chicks have this accent that knocks me out. There are many holy places... Loch Derg is a spot where most Irish schoolkids have gone on pilgrimage, at one time or another. Saint Patrick himself walked around that lake barefoot, praying, so I’m told. We stopped the car by this one roadside holy well, where the water watched over by a little shrine is reputed to have healing powers. Adrian had never heard of any such thing and thought we were pulling his leg. I guess it’s pretty uniquely Irish.

Two warnings about Donegal town:

• it’s fairly dead outside of tourist season, and
• it has karaoke bars.

Did you like the cliffs of Moher, with their 600 foot drop straight into the Atlantic? Well worth a visit, then, is Slieve League. These are the highest sea cliffs in Europe... something like 1000 feet. True, they are not straight down, but then again there’s no one trying to charge you £2 for car parking or sell you dancing leprechauns. Natural wonder is the focus, here. There are hiking trails up to the top, few people around, smashing white surf, circling gulls, stark beauty. Amazing.

Back in Dublin, what else is Mick up to? Chatting with street hustlers is amusing, yeah, but I’ve been at some more productive activities, up in the lair. Using bits and ends left over from repairs and upgrades, I pieced together a second working PC and installed Linux on it. For non-techie readers, Linux is an Operating system like your Windows 98 or the OS8.6 on your iMac. The thing is,

• It doesn’t crash
• Linux is generally free

Drawbacks? Under the hood, it’s not as user-friendly as the graphical user interface of Windows or a Mac. Imagine the old-fashioned DOS screens, where you had to type in cryptic abbreviations to make things happen. Now pair that with commands very much like the Solaris ones that we use at Interactive Enterprise- something that it’s taken me a good bit of the last two years to get to know really well.

Don’t be put off, though: there’s one version that I recommend as an easy transition from Windows to a more powerful and reliable OS like Linux. It’s called Redmond Linux, and the way it appears on the screen is exactly like Windows. The Start button says Go: otherwise you are completely on familiar grounds. Then when you are ready to see what is actually going on, there’s a single button to click and access the command-line screen. If you want to really get serious about computing, and have any old pieced-together PC lying around, exploring Linux is definitely recommended.

Also recommended, for Buffy fans at least... Does Angel's "Irish" accent piss you off? It should. It's an insult worse that Tom Cruise's in Far and Away. In response, for a bit of craic over Christmas, I showed how we really handle vamps here in Dublin. The story's split into a Part One and Part Two--- a quick enough read. Give 'er a look!

What else does Mick recommend? Lemme return to my DJ-ing days: give a listen to Agent Felix’s cover of "Baby Got Back." Ay caramba! Cool, ain’t it? Story is, these boys met in the reject pile at O-Town tryouts, and now grace Orlando (and the world) with their fun, fast & funky Green Day/Bloodhound Gang-style music for free.

The same band has a song called "Internet Girl" that will be a hoot for anyone who is into the online community. "She’s my intenet girl/she may really be a guy!"

On those notes, I’ll sign off ‘til the next episode.

Peace

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